Spreading your ashes : The new green burial method

Green burial is the new frugal way to memorialize your passing into the after life. It doesn't take up space in a cemetery and it doesn't require embalming fluids that will leak out into the ground water. A representative from Fort Snelling says that 60% of the veterans in the Midwest US are now opting for cremation. Today there is even a greener method than cremation that uses water instead of fire. A Swedish company is using liquid nitrogen to freeze and break up a body into individual pieces. So, you have different more than one way to select for the process but all provide you with a greener method of burial.

Changes in planning
Either way you chose, the traditional steps to mourn the passing will be changing as the method changes. This means not having a traditional funeral and grave yard service before burying the body. Instead it brings flexibility to honor the passing in many different ways with no time constraint to get it done quickly. Some families are waiting until their yearly visit to perform the memorial service and then spread the ashes. It gives them time to remember the joy of the life lived and family time to plan the trip.

Wake/Memorial Service
Plan a memorial service to replay the best memories of your life. Since you don't have the constraints of a traditional funeral, plan it for the place and time that fits your memories of the loved one that has passed. An artist will show their art and a hunter might want to have their service outdoors near their favorite hunting spot. Another might display their crafts while someone else will display the collection they spent a lifetime gathering. Whatever it is that you think defines your life, show it, discuss it, and let your loved ones share the memories. Don't forget to toast a life well lived instead of mourning the loss.

Memorials
Select a memorial that may or may not be placed near where you will scatter the ashes. Some places like the US National Parks will not let you erect a memorial so that will have to be placed elsewhere. There are memorial park and gardens where you can place a memorial. Cemeteries are starting to add memorial parks also. You may even design an online memorial for your loved one if you so desire.

Spreading your ashes
Have a private service at your selected place for scattering your ashes or a big party if you so desire. Those that select air scattering or sea scattering usually have a small intimate group there. Whereas those that pick fireworks to be spread will have a big party.  If they are to be spread in a remote location, you may have to hire someone to hike in with them. Either way, pick out a nice poem, eulogy, or prayer to say when you spread the ashes. It is all up to you to decide just where and how you will spread those ashes. Make it personal.

So here are the steps. Do the cremation, have a memorial/Wake service, decide on a memorial, and spread your ashes. Just do what you think is appropriate for your loved one and let them go out in style.

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The wake: Mourning or Celebration?

The wake is a very important part of the PyreFyre green burial plan. Respect for your loved one that has passed into the next life is shown by mourning their absence and celebrating their life. I believe the wake should be mostly focused on celebration of a life well lived and sending the soul on to a better place. Our funerals tend to be very somber and with two much mourning. Choose the theme of your wake to reflect the very best parts of your life.

But since the wake is a time for mourning and a time for celebrating a life well lived, there will be a mixture of emotions throughout the event. Some will mourn the entire time while others will only celebrate. The majority will go through the range of emotions as they remember the good times or begin to think about never seeing that person again.

People are different so they show their emotions is their own way. As you can see, there are opportunities for conflict between the groups. The past has a habit of surfacing in strange ways causing conflicts between family members. It is important that the wake stay focused and have some structure. Without some kind of break to the next activities, the potential for conflict will increase. Try to arrange the events to stay focused on a life well lived and those things that are happy remembrances.

A wake should be in a place close to where the ashes are scattered if possible and follow with that theme. If you are planning on a scattering at sea then plan for a wake at the beach. The plan should be to toast the passing with their favorite drink and interject life into the event. Wakes are for the living to remember the very best times had with a loved one. Plan it so you will be remembered with class.

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Waking the Dead

As the story goes, a wake was a rowdy place to drink and dance so you could wake the dead and have them join the party. This is the origin of the saying: “you are making so much noise that you will wake the dead.” Just like the doctor who finally gives up on trying to resuscitate someone who heart quits beating, a wake has to end. At some point everyone would get tired and go home. The dead stays dead and everyone else is dead tired.

Another reason people tried to “wake the dead” was to be sure the dead person’s soul was alert and ready to transition to the afterlife. I think we all know someone who was never awake during life much less being awake after they died. For those of us that believe in the afterlife, I guess it was important to not sleep in your body and forget to go to the next stage in your journey.

A third reason was to appease the dead by having a party in their name. You never knew if this person was angry at dying and would seek revenge on the living. Showing them some love during the wake would keep them from coming back to haunt you as they do in the Ghost Whisperer TV show. This haunting thing has spawned a whole genre of movies but has never really been proven as a truth. However, without ghosts, zombies, and other undead creatures, Halloween would not be near as fun.

Finally, the fourth reason was actually to celebrate that someone had died. All of us have someone in our life that we wish would just go away. Some even think about how much better their life would be if that certain someone died. No one wants to talk about that possibility because it isn’t nice and they may just come back as a zombie and eat you. Most of us have enough enemies in this life without creating any new undead ones. So respect for the dead is very important.

Showing respect and honoring the dead person is what we think the wake should be about. Use a theme that matches the important things is that person’s life. At the wake, you can party loud enough to wake the dead, but keep in mind that it is about remembering a life well lived. It is a life that deserves to go out of this world in style.

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