Spread My Ashes in a Memorial Garden

Two major reasons for selecting cremation over traditional burial begins with the expense but also includes traditional cemeteries filling up. Those same cemeteries are now finding space for cremated remains. Memorial gardens are not just for spreading your ashes but it is a quiet place for people to come and remember those loved ones they have lost. As space around urban areas have become more scarce, memorial gardens are taking over.

Unused space in the cemetery
The St. Peter's By-the-Sea cemetery near York, England has found use for a section of their cemetery that wasn't deep enough to allow traditional burial. They turned it into a memorial park for cremated remains. The names of the deceased on listed on a common stone while the remains are spread out onto the garden grounds.

In the family plot
While this isn't a traditional memorial garden, if you own a family plot, cemeteries are letting people include cremated remains interred there because there aren't any spaces left for traditional burials. The urn is buried at the foot of an existing grave within your plot. One man I know has interred the urn contained the cremated remains of his second wife with the casket of his first wife. He fully intends to rest with both of them by having his cremated remains buried there also. Check with the cemetery because not all permit this kind of interment.

Walk of remembrance
One church has turned a garden path into a walk of remembrance by place two memorials along the path. They are allowing ashes to be interred along side the path or spread over the flowers. A special memorial book will be kept by the church with the names of everyone there. This memorial walk has been fully dedicated by one of the church deacons.

So, if you want to find a place to have your ashes near to where you live or in your already full family cemetery, check with them. They may have some alternatives that you don't know about.

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Scatter those ashes but hold the memories close

A reader commented on the scattering of ashes and believes it will only be a generation or two before we return to putting most bodies in a cemetery. He worries about the survivors being able to maintain a connection with their ancestors through graveyard visits. Scattering to him is the act of leaving no trace for anyone to remember you. It also carries with it, the denial of an afterlife.

I don't believe that scattering ashes is dishonoring the dead. It is my opinion that you do not have to bury a body in a cemetery to honor the dead. There are many ways to leave a memorial to the dead. A memorial can be a permanent marker or a virtual one to visit. Scattering is not an anonymous throwing of ourselves back to nature but a returning of the body to to its origin. Most people will scatter their loved one's ashes in a place along with a marker.

Like my wife, a lot of people will also keep a small amount of ashes from their love ones in a locket to maintain that spiritual connection. The rest will be scattered in a place that honors them. A place they have chosen to forever rejoin the earth. Some choose a cemetery, some a national park, and some a memorial garden.

In the end, honoring the dead is honoring their life. It is not visiting them in a cemetery. It is memories that you should share often with your loved ones still alive. Stories you and your siblings share each holiday about grandma or mom. Those memories that make you smile and bring the love back once more to your face. Scatter those ashes but hold the memories close.

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Deciding a green burial for someone else

Arizona

If you end up with someone’s ashes and they haven’t said what to do with them, what comes next? You don’t expect something like this to happen but the truth is that it does happen. Do they live forever on your mantle? If you get tired of them in your house, do you pass them around like a Xmas fruitcake each year? How about just putting uncle Harry in the backyard garden.

Sometimes a friend or relative will decide to be cremated when they die but only express vague references to a good view, somewhere nice, or tell you to decide what is appropriate. So if this happens to you, where do you turn? How do you decide what is right and respectful of their wishes? Are you ready to take on this task or do you put it off until tomorrow?

Well, here at Pyrefyre, we have some suggestions to help you decide where their final resting spot will be. You have a lot of options in what you decide to do. Some are virtually cost free while others will be a sizeable expense. So task number one is to look at your budget. The least expensive scattering is done at public places where it doesn’t cost except the transportation to get there. You can even make a vacation out of it. If you plan on flying to the destination, have a look at our information on problems you might incur due to security restriction.

Task number two is to determine some aspects of your friend or relative’s life that you think would help you decide which place to put them. Were they an avid outdoor person, fisherman, hiker, loved a particular sports team, pilot, loved animals, etc. You get the idea. Try to form a image of them that represents their passion in life. You can then check this against the list of suggested scatterings we have here. If you can’t figure out a place you would like to scatter them. You can look into a more expensive option which is to place their urn in a memorial park or green burial site.

Give it some thought and pick a nice ending for them that allows them to go out in style.

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